Motivation is tricky when you have ADHD.
There are many reasons you feel unmotivated.
If you want to take action, you have to know the reason why you’re stuck.
When I’m struggling and can’t get motivated, I take a few minutes to sit quietly and find the reason. Why am I stuck? What’s really going on beneath the surface?
My reasons vary based on my feelings about the project (if I love it or hate it), my mood, energy level, and emotions.
Here are the reasons I can’t get started and how I overcome them:
- Self-doubt
At first, I’m full of confidence. I believe I can do anything once I make up my mind to do it. But soon that thought passes, and the nasty gremlins appear in my mind telling me I’m not good enough. - Solution:
I shoo those little monsters away with reminders of my past successes. I prove to myself that I’ve done this before, and I can do it again. I have no reason to doubt that I’m capable and I will succeed. Bye-bye, gremlins. - Emotions
ADHD emotions are intense. It’s hard to concentrate and stay focused when I’ve got a lot of emotional baggage going on. My mind is stuck thinking (and feeling) about the fight I had with my husband, or the way I spoke to my kids. I try to push the feelings away and hide them. I pretend that I’m fine, but my emotions enter my body. My heart starts racing. I start pacing. Or sometimes, I’m emotionally frozen. I sit and stare out the window. - Solution:
Before I start a project, I think about what’s going on in my mind.What am I stressed about? Then, I search for a statement of closure. I lock that door and keep it closed for awhile. I will get back to later. There is nothing I can do about it now. My head has to be clear. If it’s not, I wait until it is. I know that’s not always possible, but I have a flexible work schedule and can work around my emotions. I know nothing will get done otherwise. - Avoidance
When I don’t like the project or responsibility I’m facing, my first reaction is to put it off indefinitely. Sometimes this works, and other times it doesn’t. Dentists, doctor’s appointments, and taxes are high on my “things to avoid” list. - Solution:
Avoiding unpleasant tasks is the most difficult thing for an ADHDer to overcome. Our brains freeze, temporarily. But that’s the key for me, I know it’s temporary. I give myself time to face the challenge. I have faith and know that I will eventually get it done. It just might take me a little bit longer to get started. And that’s ok, as long as I start. - Break it down
I used to think I had to sit down and barrel my way through a task. If I was in hyperfocus mode, I didn’t want to lose my nirvana momentum. I’d sit there and keep working through hunger, crying dogs that need to go out, and people waiting for me. Work deadlines used to be my main motivator. The closer the deadline, the faster I worked. But that was too stressful, so I changed. - Solution:
Now I know myself better. I break down my task into little pieces. I pace myself and space out my work periods. I learned how to schedule my day to fit in my projects, responsibilities, and unpleasant tasks. - Fearless of facing my ADHD
Some things in life fill me with fear, but when it comes to honestly facing my ADHD, I’m Superwoman. I know my weaknesses and how to manage them. I know my strengths and how to benefit from them. I know what moves me, and I know what stops me. The keywords here are: know yourself. That is your superpower. - Solution:
There’s no need to be afraid of being honest about yourself. Knowing who you are, what works for you, and what doesn’t work is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Denial and deceit can destroy a person.
So face your gremlins, pace yourself, look in the mirror, put on your Superhero cape, and start flying. What are you waiting for?
this article originally appeared on quora.com
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I’d love to hear about your struggles and how you overcome them.
